aim-less..............

alone at home again..
Daddy went for golf wif Jack n Bernard uncle
Mummy went korkor hse
Jiejie went watch volleyball match at Jurong Sports Hall
only left wif me at home...........

din feel like gg out though
didn't know where to go or wat to do
life is so meaning-less
how I wish I could slp all day
as while slping I do not need to tink of anything
and at times, having swt dreams making u feel like not waking up

I really duno wat I wan now
Further studies? Or to start working?
Recently, have been asking my frens on wat I should choose
UOL or RMIT?? <-- SIM
I'm interested in the course name perhaps in RMIT
but I feel like gg for UOL partly due to is more recognised
anyway, I submitted my application to RMIT 2 weeks ago
but not yet submitted all my documents though
I went over to SIM last wednesday to submit my documents
and I tink I was too clever tat I did not bring my
'O' Levels cert and my diploma cert...
Diploma cert I know is in my tat black grad file
but 'O' levels cert?????????
So I search high and low in my room
and suddenly I tink I haven collected it yet
So I called up blss (my sec sch)
and found tat my cert is really still there (since 2006???)
and I'm the last in my class to collect the cert.. =P
So probably will be gg down tml to submit?

Once again, I tink of him...............
and well, I wont be seeing him tis week
and I tink tat will be good
Seeing him lesser will lessen my pain? (*impossible i guess)
Will avoiding him be the way or I should get a clear cut
such as ........ ...??

I wonder why...............................

I dunno why I suddenly haf e feeling of blogging..
I wonder how many still rmb my blog

Well,
so many things happen recently..
or perhaps they are jus e same things happening
but it really hinders me..
Haf u ever feel like how I feel as if thousands of needles are piercing into ur heart when u heard something or see something tat makes u tink u are jus an substitute to someone?
Or perhaps I should say I'm really jus a substitute..

'You' will nv be able or get e chance to read tis post
neither will u feel anything reading tis post
as I am jus a substitute to u, am I right?
It's true tat I know wat I'm gg for now has no future
but wat I want is jus some care n concern
and not jus being tat person, a substitute!

Yes I know I'm being stupid to type all these
but I really need to say it out..
Sometimes I really feel like crying
at times, you treat me as if I'm e queen
at times, you treat me better than the rest
and I really someone tat good to bully?
am I being tat naive to tink tat u haf changed?
I haf being doing things tat u like
take care of ur things
trying to improve myself to let u know tat I haf changed to be someone capable of helping u and not to hinder ur work..
can you see it? did u ever realise it?
I doubt you do..
Perhaps its really time for a change..
studying will be a good thing for me to cool down I guess
I will need studies to numb myself to not tink of you
perhaps seeing u lesser will lessen my pain..

anyway, you nv seems to need me though
all I did was one-sided I guess..
I wish u happiness and I will try hard to forget u..
and I know its gonna be difficult............