I wonder why...............................

I dunno why I suddenly haf e feeling of blogging..
I wonder how many still rmb my blog

Well,
so many things happen recently..
or perhaps they are jus e same things happening
but it really hinders me..
Haf u ever feel like how I feel as if thousands of needles are piercing into ur heart when u heard something or see something tat makes u tink u are jus an substitute to someone?
Or perhaps I should say I'm really jus a substitute..

'You' will nv be able or get e chance to read tis post
neither will u feel anything reading tis post
as I am jus a substitute to u, am I right?
It's true tat I know wat I'm gg for now has no future
but wat I want is jus some care n concern
and not jus being tat person, a substitute!

Yes I know I'm being stupid to type all these
but I really need to say it out..
Sometimes I really feel like crying
at times, you treat me as if I'm e queen
at times, you treat me better than the rest
and I really someone tat good to bully?
am I being tat naive to tink tat u haf changed?
I haf being doing things tat u like
take care of ur things
trying to improve myself to let u know tat I haf changed to be someone capable of helping u and not to hinder ur work..
can you see it? did u ever realise it?
I doubt you do..
Perhaps its really time for a change..
studying will be a good thing for me to cool down I guess
I will need studies to numb myself to not tink of you
perhaps seeing u lesser will lessen my pain..

anyway, you nv seems to need me though
all I did was one-sided I guess..
I wish u happiness and I will try hard to forget u..
and I know its gonna be difficult............